The Frivolous Adventures of Organization XIII
by Black Jackal
Summary: Surely Org.XIII must have done something in there free time.


The Frivolous Adventures of Organization XIII

Chapter 1: The TV that wouldn't survive…

It was another typical day in the Org. 13. Twelve of the thirteen members sat in the thrown room lazily. Roxas always wondered why the lower your number the lower the chair. It was because Xemnas has a superiority complex and this way everyone had to look up to him while he looked down on them. Luxord tried to combat the boredom with solitaire, but it was no good because he always cheated and couldn't win. The missing member was none other then Demyx. However he was late so often and stayed up so late they concluded he fell off the roof like last time. However they were wrong. Demyx busted in through the doors.

Demyx: Guys! Guess what!

Organization: What…

Demyx: We…have…a…T…V!

Eleven out of twelve members fell off their seats, which was especially painful for Xemnas. Xaldin didn't care much unlike the rest of the members. Everyone else jumped with joy and danced around in gay circles while holding hands. They had a TV…about damn time! They all hurried into the living room. It was an incredible TV. High-definition, 46 inches, it was beautiful.

Larxene: How did you afford such a thing Demyx?

Demyx: Well…

Flashback

Demyx stood before a crowd. It was battle of the bands and he was determined to win the grand prize!

Demyx: Hello Twilight Town! Are you ready to rock!

Crowd: Yah!

Demyx: I can't hear you! I said, are you ready to rock!

Crowd: YAH!

Demyx played his best compositions, but the better he played, the more it rained. Next was his competition. The Heartless? The Heartless had formed a rock band! Composed of a Neo-shadow on guitar, a samurai on base, an air pirate on drums, a few shadows as backup singers, and Riku as lead singer and electric guitar! How was he, a nobody with a sitar, going to compete with this?

Riku: Three…two…one…ROCK!

_Bless me with your gift of light_

_Righteous cause on judgment night_

_Feel the sorrow the light has swallowed_

_Feel the freedom like no tomorrow_

_Stepping forth a cure for soul's demise_

_Reap the tears of the victim's cries_

_Yearning more to hear the suffer (of a)_

_Of a demon as I put it under_

_Killed before, a time to kill them all _

_Passed down the righteous law_

_Serve a justice that dwells in me_

_Lifeless corpse as far as the eye can see_

Demyx knowing his immanent defeat stole the grand prize.

End Flashback

Demyx: I won it in a battle of the bands.

Larxene: Works for me.

They turned on the TV to be greeted with static. Axel checked the back of the TV.

Axel: Demyx…

Demyx: Yah?

Axel: We need cable to watch TV…

Demyx: Is that a problem?

The eleven other members stared at the idiot. They have been blessed with a TV, but no cable. Demyx got their hopes up, which is hard to do for a nobody.

Xemnas: _YOU INFERIOUR DOLT!_

Xigbar: _Demyx you idiot! I'm gonna shoot you in the eye!_

Lexaeus: _………………………….._

Vexen: _I didn't think it was possible for him to look like a bigger idiot…_

Zexion: _I could cut myself…_

Saix: _KILL KILL KILL!_

Axel: _Poor Demyx. Everyone is going to kill him._

Luxord: _Roll a dice, if it's a number between one and six, I will kill him._

Marluxia: _YOU IDIOT!_

Larxene: _(A bit too graphic to describe)_

Roxas: (crying)

Demyx: Why are you all looking at me like that?

Demyx was then pummeled into a bloody pulp by the others. Now they had a problem, they had a TV, but no cable. To them this was worse then just not having a TV to begin with. But they had no cable in The World That Never Was. This meant they only had one option. Satellite TV. The problem was is that they couldn't afford something like that. They didn't need to eat, they didn't need to do anything since they are nobodies so they easily got by, but now they had to. It was now do or die, get a job and get TV, and maybe a few other things, or give up. The problem though, is that they forgot how to give up, leaving one option.

Xemnas gets a job.

Xemnas, being the total ego maniac he is, wouldn't settle for anything less then boss in any job. He was not going to bag groceries, he was not going to package poultry, he wouldn't even hold a door for anyone unless it was him, which he can do since he has mastered how to be in two places at once. There was only thing he can do…

Xemnas: Lemonaidx, only 3 munny…

A fate worse then death? Not yet…

Sora: Lemonaidx? What's- YOU!

Xemnas: YOU! One Lemonaidx 3 munny.

Sora:…Okay...sure…

While Xemnas mentally patted himself on his first sale, Sora only rolled his eyes.

Vexen, Zexion, and Xigbar work together!

While Xemnas pursued the ups and downs of selling lemonade, the others decided to do something more profitable by splitting in groups. Vexen decided to go work in a place where his mental prowess can actually do some good for the world, but Xigbar decided to tag along and brought Zexion with him.

Vexen: Stop following me!

Xigbar: I thought we were doing this in groups.

Vexen: I don't care.

Xigbar: But I do, and knowing you would get some high science-y well paying job, I decided to get a piece of the action.

Zexion: And why am I coming again?

Xigbar: Because your emo and wouldn't get a job.

Zexion: For the last time, I'm not emo…

Xigbar: Too bad. You're the token emo.

Zexion: …

Vexen: At least try not to screw up my interview…

Vexen got the job, and to his surprise so did Xigbar and Zexion.

Vexen: How did you get the job?

Zexion: I just put up an illusion.

Vexen: Plausible, and you Xigbar?

Xigbar: All I did was make him believe the laws of physics weren't real by walking on the wall. After that he seemed ready to take anyone.

Vexen: …Well, at least we get money for TV.

And so Vexen, Zexion, and Xigbar got the jobs. That day, the head of the company fell off the roof claiming that physics aren't real. The company policy was that they would draw the name of the next head out of a hat. Xigbar is now the owner of chemtech. From that day on chemtech made drugs and surfboards. The stock went up. Vexen was then appointed 'head of stuff like chemicals and all that other boring jazz" and Zexion just tagged along and did nothing.

Marluxia and Larxene scheme

Marluxia and Larxene were definitely not working people. They aren't going to do anything that would have them break a nail. They where going to get paid for just existing.

Marluxia: Wait, we don't exist.

Larxene: Well I doubt that many people know that.

Marluxia: So, what is the one job that would allow us to do that?

Modeling. They where going to be models. How? Simple really, this is Marluxia and Larxene after all.

Guy who hires people to be models: Please don't hurt me!

Larxene: Then hire us!

Guy who hires people to be models: Done!

And so Larxene and Marluxia go started on there new career. Larxene became the centerpiece for keyboy magazines.

(Twilight Town)

Riku: Is it here yet!

Sora: I see the mailman!

Hayner: Thank god!

Seifer: I can't wait any longer

Rai: I love this magazine, like you' know.

Pence: God we're pathetic to be waiting around for a dirty magazine.

Riku: Then go away…

Pence: NO! Please, I take it back!

Sora: It's here! It's Larxene!?

While the three ogled at what they couldn't and didn't want to believe was Larxene, behind them Kairi, Olette, and Fuu were planning on how to deal with the idiot quartet. Vivi sat quietly and read what everyone thought was a book on magic, but if they could read mage they would know it says StripMages…

Marluxia on the other hand got signed up for The Pink Heart, a magazine for gay people. While Marluxia is, while hard to believe, not gay, if he made more munny then everyone (especially Xemnas) then he would be able to hold his head in pride. Setzer enjoyed the latest issue.

Roxas, Axel, Saix, and Lexaeus…the leftovers…

And now our story leads us to the leftovers. Roxas, Axel, Saix, and Lexaeus decided to start out small by working at McKingdom.

Roxas: Would you like fries with that…

Setzer: Only if you're serving them.

Roxas quickly pressed the pedo alert button. The four of them were not enjoying there new jobs. Axel who works French fries wore a gas mask and a full body suit, like hell he was going to get a greasy pimple. Saix had to work drive through and could barely here the people through the earpiece. Lexaeus had to clean the bathrooms, a fate worse then hell. Roxas was at cash register where the buttons are picture of the food and made him feel dumb. So they did what everyone has done, they took-over.

Chief-manager: What do you nobodies want?

Roxas: How does he know we're nobodies?

Axel: …I think working the cash register has made him stupid…

Roxas: Cheese!

Saix: We have come to take over.

Chief-manager: Yah, whatever. If you want a raise you need to work at least 15 years.

Lexaeus: LIKE HELL I'M CLEANING TOILETS FOR 15 YEARS!

Everyone was taken aback by the not so silent anymore hero. Lexaeus promptly picked up the chief manager and threw him in the bathrooms. Lexaeus is chief manager no one is going to argue with that. Where the story goes from here will be in another chapter.

One week later

It was now the day. The eleven members got together to show off the product of there efforts. Xemnas presented first. He made twenty-one munny. Over seven days he sold seven cups. Every cup was sold to Sora. All though he wouldn't admit it, he found Xemnas's lemonadex very good. Xemnas felt good, until Lexaeus and his underlings threw in three-hundred munny. Larxene and Marluxia threw in a couple thousand munny, but they were holding out, they needed the rest for cloths, manicures, hair products and other things you would expect Marluxia to buy. Xigbar put in all his earnings of up to seven-thousand. Xigbar's group won.

At last they had cable. They could finally watch TV, and they treated it as if it was a marriage. They had cake, a priest, and a lot of guests.

Priest: I now pronounce you, TV and couch-potatoes. You may turn it on…


End file.
